Final Week...

So this is probably the week were all hell breaks loose,
I might get a couple of kicks in the nuts and a few slaps all over
my face ... maybe.

Why does everything has to be so hard?
It's not like I have not been clear.
Damn it!!

"I DON'T want to be with you!"

I guess that is direct enough right?
Will she even speak to me after this?
Frankly, I don't really care.
I guess it is difficult trying to FEEL for somebody when
you cannot trust them. Not even a little ... I guess this is
because I "know" her. I "know" I will not be happy.
Am I making a mistake ... NO I don't think so.
Actually I'm acting like I should.
I'm not being a pussy.
I'm not being a conformist.
It's not that she is ugly, a bad seed or a bad person,
is just that I can't bring myself to trust her.
I know her lies, I know the way she lies, I know a lot
and maybe that scares me. Why? Because I don't want to get
hurt and then start taking shit (like I'm doing right now) all
over this blog going back again to the same cycle I seem to fall
BECAUSE OF ME!

I usually see things coming.
I usually want to fight them as I don't like "destiny" taking control
of your life! But this time ... FUCK IT. I'm not even going to try it.

I wrote something the other day (it seems I'm having a lot of time to write
probably because I've been feeling inspired by stuff going on around me
and with me) which I (of course) converted to lyrics:

"Le hago caso a mi razon,
que se joda el corazon,
no puedo estar contigo.
No quieres q te haga esperar,
pero perdonar es olvidar,
y yo no olvido!"

I have always said that shit ... "to forgive is to forget" and it is
very true. Now, why am I applying it to this current situation if it hasn't
occured yet? Because I KNOW that it will happen and I'm not going to fall for stuff like this. Not while I can avoid it.

So, what should I expect from her after Thursday?
Indifference?
Hate?
Again, I don't care. Actually I'm being CONSIDERATE!
I'm thinking not only about my well being but about HERS!
I'm not being SELFISH dammit!

Those are basically the reasons that I'm going to do this!
I have to end this.
I guess it's bad that this will happen as she could be great
but my mind will never see her like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She is TAINTED in my head and I guess it's kind of bad for me too.
But again, I HAVE to do this.

It will be hard!
Why? Because I know her, I know that she will say:

"Solo trata, ... bla bla bla"

but I know what I feel.

So, Friday will be a new day.
Friday I will either feel like shit or good as hell.
Who knows, maybe she changes her mind and stop thinking about me
like she is doing right know!! Who knows ....

This situation really has put things in perspective for me.
Why? Because IT'S MY DECISION NOW!
I'm not waiting from anyone, I'm not expecting anything.

Finally, I can feel it ............... a new song is coming!!! hehehehe

Oh shit, I definitely have to laugh!

Check it.