Doomed for failure...

Dammit.
I knew something was wrong when I followed tradition
this New Year. I succumbed to my family ways and ate
7 grapes wishing for all things good not only for me
but for my family and friends. This was supposed to bring
me good luck and great things this new year... WHAT THE
FUCK HAS HAPPENED?!? I haven't had any good luck especially
in relationships. Next time, I will follow my gut feeling
and not believe in any of this nonsense!

So... I tried and I don't know what else to do.
I recently wrote that it was time to "make my move" that
it was "time to get close without fear of rejection", yadda,
yadda, yadda that it all falls on her decision ... and boy
did her decision sucked! hehehehe
I mean, I'm not the most good looking, most honest nor
the coolest guy there is but what I feel has to count for
something right?!?!? I don't know of what she is so afraid of
because she knows I love her with all my heart but still she wont
give me a chance! And you know what? SHE IS FUCKED!!!!!!!
Why??? Because.... I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!! Yes you heard me (or read this)!
I will NOT GIVE UP! :-p
I think I will be more complete if she accepts what I have to offer.
And that's my gut feeling. If she is going to be with an asshole
in the future, I want to be that asshole! One that will not treat her
wrong, one that will support her every way, every day, the one who
will love her... and if she still doesn't want anything with me,
if she only wants my friendship, so be it, I will not reject that,
never! I know she will probably be a great friend since she is just great,
light-hearted, one of the best I have ever met. What will probably
get to me is ... 3 years from now (hopefully less, I wouldn't like
for her to be alone or without a real relationship so long!!!)
and her going out with a real asshole instead of just a fake asshole
like me... that always gets me thinking...

Anyway, enough talking.
I thought I would be a wreck because of this but actually
I'm not feeling so bad... probably because I already knew where
she was going, probably because I know I will love her always
no matter how many times she can reject me. Though this situation
didn't stopped me from trying to drown in tequila
yesterday but that's beside the point! hehehehe :-p

I'm getting tired of writing.
Monday I recorded another "song" since I didn't
had my Kung Fu class. It's related to this shit I was talking
about earlier. Again, the lyrics seem to come out of a 14 year
old but ... FUCK OFF!
I'll post the song later in the week or this weekend or something.

I'll be going now.
Bye.



P.S. Wow, I played basketball yesterday for less than 2 hours
and my legs feel so heavy! Never play basketball after like
3 months or more of inactivity!! hehehehehe BYE.

Ich habe zu viel stress....

Yep, preparations for the freaking summer party (the company's) screwed my week all over. At least I'm not sick anymore. Hopefully people will attend and have a good time! All that I know is that I'm going to get early, help out with the set up and all that stuff, try to enjoy and once this is finished, I'm going to sleep till Sunday.

Then ... off to Mayaguez Mall and start paying taxes!!!! lol

Been trying to write a sappy BUT happy song and ... have not been successful!
Why?
I mean, I'm a happy person ... kind of ... I guess, so why the fuck can't I write
something happy?!?!? So instead, another somber piece of shit has come out from me!
I call this ... a lyrical dump.

Something good has to happen I think in order to not take another "dump".
I'm going to work on that something and make it happen if I can, I'm not
waiting for the train to come...

Anyway, that's all.
Bye.

I'm sick :-(

Yeaaaahh just the common cold but my god how I hate it.
I usually speak using my nose and since it's all f--ed up now I have
this weird nasal voice that makes me want to throw up.

Had a deadline last week.
An useless deadline as it seems it was moved to another day
and we didn't even knew that. Still, less work we have to do
in the future ... I think....

I have felt inspired these past few days, and continued writing some stuff.
It's pretty hardcore thinking, a lot of people will not get it right and think
there's something wrong with me. Still, I think I can take something from
that and put it into lyrics one of these days.
Been practicing with a metronome but if I suck ass without it, imagine how
I sound using one!. Still I have to learn.

That is all.
Let me see if I can finally get on my ass and make that call I've been
hesitating to make... I don't even know how it's going to be taken, the reaction .. and the action. Fucking pussy de mierda...

Check it.