I know Kung Fu! ...

Hello.

So, after all that has happened to me these past few months, I guess
it was time to go back in time, back in my high school days, when I felt
a little out of place (just a little I'm not a weirdo or anything... I think).
I started thinking: "What did put me at ease and made me think, made me calm, gave me discipline? Kung Fu of course.

I studied Bak Shaolin Eagle Claw Kung Fu back in the day and it was a great experience and I guess I was mediocre at it but I liked it. Now after almost 5 years without throwing a kick, I signed up to Southern Kung Fu classes (mine was Northern Style) and I'm starting to feel great. Have only gone to 2 classes but I already know that this will help me a lot.
I love this stuff, love its history, its principles, etc.
So I bought my T-shirts and yesterday started with exercises and some combinations and I got EXHAUSTED!!! Damn... I didn't know I was so out of shape.
I guess in 3 months I'll be cool ... maybe ... if I don't "stray" from the path
and start missing classes! lol

Bought a couple of movies (not much).
Final Fantasy Advent Children (great graphics and animation)
Hostel (really a great gory movie from a cool horror director -- Eli Roth)
Dead Again (haven't seen it yet)
Secret Window (Johnny Depp kicks ass but Turturro is even better! Great plot, long live Stephen King!)
The Exorcism of Emily Rose (have not seen it yet)

Also, I received like 10 music cds at home in Guayama but I haven't picked them up yet. All I know is that Fiona Apple was on the list so that's a cd a want to listen to. I love this woman!!!

Finally, the song I made for what happenned last week is up on the server.
And here is a direct link:

Olvidar no Puedo

Have to re-record the vocals since it sounds more nasal than I thought (that's the way I sing anyway but still) and clear up the "noise".
If you don't understand the song, well, basically is this woman who wants me to feel something for her but I know her and I know what she has done in past relationships, I know what was going to happen and if it did happened I was not going to forgive her. So that's basically it.

That's all for today.

Talk to youse later -- Rocky! :-p

Results for Final Week...

You will not believe this! lol
She made it easy for me.
The day I made that post, I received a phone call from her!
Why?
She wanted to tell me something ... she wanted to tell me that she
had been going out with someone for over three weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just laughed!
I KNEW that this WOULD happen and that WAS the specific REASON I
did not want anything to do with her.
This IS the way SHE IS!!

But now, one thing was on my mind ... why did she called to tell me this?
This is not her!
She wouldn't "risk" her neck be telling me this.
Well, it seems the guy she was going out with KNOWS ME!!!
lol WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!Yep, the guy is a fraternity brother of my best friend and she knew that I was going to know about this "indiscretion" via some other ways so she decided to tell me first (as if... as you can see she was quiet for 3 weeks so if they guy didn't knew me, I would be a "cuernu" and she would be relaaaaax)

So all in all, she made it easy for me.
I laughed, she "laughed", and he laughed.
We all got together on Thursday to have a chat.
I didn't mind, I didn't cared because again, I did not felt much for her
because of the reasons already stated.

I will go on. Try to find someone that I like ... that I could love.
Maybe I already know her, maybe I don't. I wont get into that. :-p
But I feel blessed, I feel great.
I feel that I should ALWAYS follow reason, follow my head and not always my heart.
That's the ticket ... that's the way to go.

In conclusion. All is "well".

Final Week...

So this is probably the week were all hell breaks loose,
I might get a couple of kicks in the nuts and a few slaps all over
my face ... maybe.

Why does everything has to be so hard?
It's not like I have not been clear.
Damn it!!

"I DON'T want to be with you!"

I guess that is direct enough right?
Will she even speak to me after this?
Frankly, I don't really care.
I guess it is difficult trying to FEEL for somebody when
you cannot trust them. Not even a little ... I guess this is
because I "know" her. I "know" I will not be happy.
Am I making a mistake ... NO I don't think so.
Actually I'm acting like I should.
I'm not being a pussy.
I'm not being a conformist.
It's not that she is ugly, a bad seed or a bad person,
is just that I can't bring myself to trust her.
I know her lies, I know the way she lies, I know a lot
and maybe that scares me. Why? Because I don't want to get
hurt and then start taking shit (like I'm doing right now) all
over this blog going back again to the same cycle I seem to fall
BECAUSE OF ME!

I usually see things coming.
I usually want to fight them as I don't like "destiny" taking control
of your life! But this time ... FUCK IT. I'm not even going to try it.

I wrote something the other day (it seems I'm having a lot of time to write
probably because I've been feeling inspired by stuff going on around me
and with me) which I (of course) converted to lyrics:

"Le hago caso a mi razon,
que se joda el corazon,
no puedo estar contigo.
No quieres q te haga esperar,
pero perdonar es olvidar,
y yo no olvido!"

I have always said that shit ... "to forgive is to forget" and it is
very true. Now, why am I applying it to this current situation if it hasn't
occured yet? Because I KNOW that it will happen and I'm not going to fall for stuff like this. Not while I can avoid it.

So, what should I expect from her after Thursday?
Indifference?
Hate?
Again, I don't care. Actually I'm being CONSIDERATE!
I'm thinking not only about my well being but about HERS!
I'm not being SELFISH dammit!

Those are basically the reasons that I'm going to do this!
I have to end this.
I guess it's bad that this will happen as she could be great
but my mind will never see her like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She is TAINTED in my head and I guess it's kind of bad for me too.
But again, I HAVE to do this.

It will be hard!
Why? Because I know her, I know that she will say:

"Solo trata, ... bla bla bla"

but I know what I feel.

So, Friday will be a new day.
Friday I will either feel like shit or good as hell.
Who knows, maybe she changes her mind and stop thinking about me
like she is doing right know!! Who knows ....

This situation really has put things in perspective for me.
Why? Because IT'S MY DECISION NOW!
I'm not waiting from anyone, I'm not expecting anything.

Finally, I can feel it ............... a new song is coming!!! hehehehe

Oh shit, I definitely have to laugh!

Check it.

Another post about music...

As you must know by now, I really love acoustic music.
Drive-Thru was one of my favorite labels (and they still have a couple
of cool bands) and they sign up a young kid that has really good writing
skills and he has come up with a tasty EP. And best of all, IT'S FREE!!!
You can download it over at MTVu.

Dave Melillo

This kid made a really cool 5 song album which I highly enjoy and recommend.
The production is really good and if you at least go over one of my songs without taking a dump or vomiting, then you can listen to this. ;-)

So ... I guess I will come up with another "suicidal lesbian" post in the next weeks
since I'm feeling like an asshole ... maybe cause I am one?!? Don't know.

Anyway, talk to youse later.

"New" Songs...

Hello again and welcome to another episode of "sucky sucky music".
On this edition, 2 new songs are posted and a massive attack
on your ears by them causes vomiting and diarrhea!!!! hehehehe

So, I posted 2 "new" songs on the Music section of my webpage:
http://gelocks.topcities.com

I say "new" because they really aren't.
The first one: 'Ya todo Termino' was made in December of 2005 when my
new Audio Interface arrived a week before Christmas. It was hastily made
to test the new "system". The song is basically a man being left the fuck alone
by a woman. This woman made him believe that it was his fault that she left him BUT he knew better ...

The second one I made a looong time ago.
I guess it was in 2004.
It was made as a mini song (under 1 minute and 10 seconds) and in English.
I changed it to Spanish and made it longer. This one is basically the contrary
of 'Ya todo Termino'. It's about a guy that's going out with this gal and believes
she is not right for him so he sends her packing ... and then he wishes he could take that back ... he wishes for all to be a dream since he now "sees" her everywhere.
This one is tentatively called: 'Decision pendeja (Recordandote)'
Why did I changed it to Spanish?
I noticed that all of my Spanish songs were kind of slow, monotone, whatever you want to call it!
This one was more upbeat and I liked it as a transition for the usual slow songs I make (like Ya Todo Termino).

Also, I updated the song called Only Doubts (I guess it sounds a little bit better)

Here are direct links:

Ya todo Termino

Decision Pendeja (Recordandote)

Only Doubts

Finally, I have made more songs and stuff these past few months but they all have the same vibe, they all have the same message (more or less) since the "material" was taken from a series of letters and an essay I made regarding the current situation in my life at the time. But I'm not ready to post them yet! ;)

So, anyway, I hope you don't throw-up all over the place after listening to these.
And remember that I'm not an artist (I WON'T QUIT MY DAY JOB!!!!) so don't expect much!! hehehehe

Bye.